I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
