I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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