So drunk its hurt
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
