he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize