Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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