WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
