Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
