if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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