Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
