Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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