her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
