Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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