Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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