i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize