What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
