She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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