That's when you crack a 10am beer
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
