I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just had sex on a roof
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
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