I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
