I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
