You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
