You're completely useless in the revolution.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize