oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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