I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I cut my penus on the lid.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
