everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
