someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
