she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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