I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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