I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
