happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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