his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
