I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
