Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
