I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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