Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
God I need to hump something, right now.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize