Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
