Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
