Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
