The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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