they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Did we literally take a cab across the street
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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