i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Im part way to drunk.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
