For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
