In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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