They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
