He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
