my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
