I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
