Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
