You're my little dorito
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
