i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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