You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Randomize