If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
