I'm drive I can fine osifer
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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