marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
