Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
