i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
It's never too late to be topless.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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