She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
