addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
