so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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