we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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