just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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